Deep In You (The Phoenix Series Book 1) Read online

  “You mean besides the obvious?”

  “You’re such a child. Just answer the question.”

  “Well, you can just agree and move in willingly… or I can keep insisting until you can’t take it anymore. I can argue with you while we drive, I can continue while you pack your things. I can keep going while we carry your things into my house. One way or another, though, you’ll give in. You’ll give in because it’s the right thing to do, or you’ll give in to shut me up. The end result is the same.”

  “My apartment is the other way.”

  I grinned and took her hand in mine, bringing it to my lips. “You haven’t agreed yet. Besides, I’ll need to find some help to get your things out of there as quickly as possible so you don’t have to be around Amara for long.”

  “Oh God. I don’t even want to think about that.”

  “So you’ll do it?”

  Lily jerked her hand back and folded her arms over her belly, pouting. “Yes, damn it.”

  “Yes, you’ll move in with me?”

  “Yes,” she answered sullenly.

  “You don’t have to sound so excited about it.”

  “Not like you really gave me much choice.”

  “You’re right.” I reached for her hand again. “But why should I leave you alone to deal with that bitch when I can so easily help you? We’ll put your stuff in the guest bedroom, okay? That way there’s no pressure. But, Lily…”

  “Yes?”

  “I’ve missed us. That weekend meant something to me, too. I’ve been off my game since we parted ways. I’d like to at least try the relationship thing. What do you say?”

  I risked a glance at Lily, only to find her gazing at me with a peculiar expression. Something similar to amusement, but not quite. Triumph, maybe? No. That wasn’t right, either.

  “Is that a yes?”

  “Well, it’s not a no, but…”

  “But?”

  “I’d like to learn if we can be friends first, before we jump back into bed again.”

  “You didn’t like the sex?” I was disappointed, but she was still coming home with me. I’d win her over.

  “The sex was incredible. Beyond incredible.”

  That’s better. “But?”

  “But you’re just so overwhelming, and if we’re going to try to be together, I’d like it to be based on more than sex. I’ll be living there with you, and we’ll have time to get to know each other. Let’s not force it.”

  “Good enough.”

  We spent the rest of the drive back making idle chit-chat, my heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I breezed in from my gym to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. Sam followed behind me, still crowing about how I was going to own that event tomorrow evening. He was right; I was ready, focused. I had this in the bag. I grinned at Lily, who stood barefoot in the kitchen, cooking.

  The last week had been a blur. I’d called Sam and my buddy John on Sunday morning, and we’d moved her things over in just a couple of hours. Sam wasn’t happy. In fact, he was downright pissed about my injured hand. He finally agreed to help after I promised my hand wouldn’t be an issue and assured him that I’d be ready and focused at practice.

  Amara, of course, had been there. It made for an uncomfortable situation that had worsened by the second. But we’d gotten Lily moved out with minimal arguing and even managed to avoid anyone getting into a fist fight.

  Lily was sometimes strangely distant, but I chalked it up to there being so many changes all at once. When I got her to relax, she laughed and smiled. We teased each other and were happy. We had dinner together each night. I wanted her so much, but I respected her wishes to be friends first. Instead, we made out like teenagers and drove each other insane. I had a feeling that whenever she decided we could have sex again, we would end up attacking each other like rabid animals. In the meantime, the unresolved sexual frustration only gave me added energy to work off at practice.

  Lily had put in her two weeks’ notice at work, but Celebrities and Sinners had elected to accept her resignation and cut her loose, naming Amara as their next editor. The plus side was that they gave her a severance package, and it had freed her up to search for a new job. She’d interviewed at local newspapers and hoped to be hired as a real reporter; no more tabloids. At least, that’s what she said she wanted. I found that I liked having her here, even if I would rather she was in my bed and not sleeping downstairs.

  I checked out Lily’s long legs, allowing my eyes to sweep from her toes to her belly. I ogled her ample breasts, the hollow of her throat, and finally up to her lips. “Well, thanks for stopping by, Sam. See you tomorrow morning at the competition.”

  Sam nodded. “Whatever you’re cooking smells great, Lily.”

  “Sure does. Looks like spaghetti. Shame you have to leave now.” I mimed checking a watch on my bare wrist.

  Sam laughed and raised his hands in surrender, nodded to Lily, and left.

  “Well, that was rude,” she scolded.

  “Sure was. Not half as rude as what I’d like to do to you.”

  “I’m cooking. It’s almost time to eat.”

  “I’d like to eat you.”

  She blew on a spoonful of sauce, then licked it off. She closed her eyes and hummed.

  “Put the lid on that and move it off the burner,” I softly instructed. To my surprise, she complied. Desire consumed me, hot and heady, running through my veins. “Come here.”

  She walked into my waiting arms. I kissed her, possessing her mouth and tongue with my own. My cock pressed between us, and I had never been so glad to be wearing workout pants. Our breathing became ragged and our tongues twisted in an erotic tango. Her scent surrounded me, overwhelmed me, called to me on a primal level. I yanked her hair back and suckled her neck, moaning my desire.

  “Lily… what do you want?”

  “You.”

  Thank God! “I’m glad to hear you say that. I’ve been waiting for this moment.” I lifted her in my arms.

  “Put me down, Xander! I can walk.”

  “Yes, but this is faster, baby.” I carried her up the stairs and straight into my room. I set her down and stepped back. “Take off your clothes.”

  She hesitated and I frowned.

  “Now, Lily. Do as I say.”

  Reluctance and regret passed over her beautiful features, briefly enough to make me question if I’d seen them. She’d looked almost like there was something she wanted to say, but then her face split into a flirtatious grin. “Come and take them off me, Xander.”

  Tempting. But why can’t she ever do as she’s told? I prowled toward her, fighting every instinct I had to grab her, rip her clothes off, and make her mine. I wanted her, needed to bury myself in her… but this was still my house, and she needed to remember who was in control.

  “Xander?” My name on her lips snapped me back to the here and now. I set my jaw, giving in and pulling her tube top up and over her head. I inhaled sharply as she cupped me through my workout pants.

  I lifted her up again and tossed her on the bed. “You need to learn to do as you’re told.”

  “Do I?”

  “Yes.” I unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans, then gripped them by the waistband and pulled them and her panties down in one fluid motion. Discarding the clothes in a heap, I loomed over her, supporting my weight on my left arm. I stared straight into her eyes as I slowly inserted two of the fingers of my right hand inside her. “Shit, Lily… you’re so wet already.”

  “Xander, please don’t tease me.” She bucked her hips up to meet my hand, trying to urge my fingers deeper inside.

  “Shh… keep still.”

  She ground her hips against my fingers again. This would not do. I withdrew and placed my fingers in my mouth. “Mmm… you taste even better than I remember. But you need to do as I say and hold still.” I stood up and walked into my closet, grabbing a braided belt. Her breath caught when I emerged and she
got a look at it.

  “Keep still.”

  “You aren’t going to hit me, are you?”

  “Hadn’t planned on it. I wouldn’t enjoy causing you pain. I do want you to hold still, though.” I bound her wrists together. Not tight enough to hurt if she wriggled around—something I had every intention of making her do—but just snug enough to keep her from going anywhere. I didn’t really have anywhere to connect it to on this sleigh bed. I lifted her hands and pulled her up so that her fingers brushed the smooth, cool leather of the headboard. “Feel that? Keep your hands there, against the leather. Do not lower them. Do not move at all. Got it?”

  She nodded, her brown eyes dark. I watched her for a few moments until I was certain she’d do as she was told.

  I leaned over her and brushed my lips across hers, then sucked and licked my way down her chin and neck. Reaching her collarbone, I bit down and sucked the skin into my mouth, reveling in her answering moan. I continued my path; covering every inch of her chest with wet kisses, savoring her. I paused to admire her perfect tits; they looked even bigger and more beautiful than I remembered. Everything was better now. I knew her erect nipples craved my mouth, but I resisted the urge and ran my fingers and teeth down her ribs and toward her navel. She cried out and sucked in her belly, writhing beneath me.

  “Keep still,” I rasped. To deny myself any longer was a torture I didn’t think I could endure. I moved down and to the side, scraping my teeth gently over her hipbone, then kissed and sucked my way over to her other hip and repeated the process. Lily groaned, her hips jerking beneath me.

  “Didn’t I tell you to keep still? Do you want me to stop?”

  “Yes,” Lily gasped.

  “You want me to stop?”

  “Please, Xander, I want you. No more teasing.”

  “I say when,” I snapped. My voice was harsher than I’d intended. I knew I would probably give in, but it would be on my terms, not hers.

  “Please, Xander,” she begged. “I need your cock inside me now.”

  Fuck! I wrenched open the drawer in the bedside table and grabbed a condom. Without wasting a moment, I shoved my pants down and rolled it on. Then I was on top of her, the tip of my cock positioned at her slick entrance.

  “This is what you want, baby?” Please say yes.

  “You’re what I want, only…”

  “Yes?”

  “I want to touch you. Please?”

  Her desperate plea moved me. I realized I, too, wanted her to touch me.

  “Give me your hands.” In no time at all, her hands were freed and I’d flung the belt onto the floor. I thrust into her, stilling at the sound of her gasp. “Lily…”

  “Hmm?”

  “Open your eyes.”

  Her eyelids fluttered open, and she stared up at me. I lowered myself down and caressed her cheek as I slowly began to move. I saw the emotions I felt reflected back at me in her eyes. It was too much, far too much. I kissed her, my tongue demanding entrance to her mouth. My weight rested on my forearms and, pressing down on her shoulders to hold her in place, we found our rhythm.

  I groaned and swiveled my hips, pivoting forward to reach her g-spot.

  “Faster, Xander, please.” Lily pulled her mouth from mine, panting. She met me thrust for thrust, giving as good as she was taking, encouraging me to drive into her faster, harder. Her nails clawed at my back and begged me to give in.

  “Oh, no, baby. This is going to be slow. I want you to feel all of me.” I reared up and positioned her legs over my shoulders, only pausing for a moment to reposition.

  “Please… fuck me. I want to feel you.”

  I leaned all my weight on one arm and reached the other down between us to find her clit. I massaged in slow circles, watching her face as the sensations washed over her.

  Her cries became more ragged as her impending orgasm drew closer. I wanted to kiss her, to swallow her cries with my mouth, but I wanted to watch her face as she came even more.

  Her legs trembled, and I hummed low in my throat. “Come for me, Lily.”

  Her body shivered as she fell over the precipice. Her pussy squeezed me, milking my cock. I tried to ride it out, didn’t want to stop, but her orgasm seemed to go on endlessly. I surrendered to my body. I thrust deep inside and stilled, lost to the sensations as my load spurted, hot and powerful, into her cunt.

  “I love you, Xander…”

  I froze, positive I had misheard. Her voice had been an almost imperceptible whisper. Without a word, I withdrew and removed the condom, tossing it carelessly toward a trash can. A glance in her direction told me she still watched me expectantly, waiting for me to answer.

  “I–what did you say?” I fought back the surge of panic, forcing my expression to remain neutral.

  “You didn’t hear me, or you wish you didn’t hear me?”

  Yeah, right. Like I’m dumb enough to fall for that. “The first one. I’m sorry, I thought you said something.”

  She sat up, regarding me, trying to find the lie on my face. “I said I love you, Xander. I know we haven’t known each other long, but this last week has been the best in my entire life.”

  I opened my mouth, but she cut me off, placing a finger over my lips.

  “Shh… there’s more. Let me finish. I need to tell you something else. I wasn’t sure how you were going to handle it, but you deserve to know.”

  My heart thudded in my chest as I waited.

  “I’m pregnant,” she whispered.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Pregnant?”

  The world stopped. My breath rushed out of me like I’d been sucker-punched. I must have misheard her. I jumped to my feet and yanked my pants up, desperate to put some distance between us while I processed this.

  “P–pregnant? How?” The surprise that she’d professed her love only a moment before paled and faded, giving way to the much more shocking news she’d just delivered. If her goal had been to give me a heart attack, she might still succeed.

  She rolled her eyes. “You ask me that not even a minute after pulling your dick out of me?”

  “Is it mine?”

  “Of course it’s yours! Who else’s would it be?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “What the hell kind of question was that?”

  “It could be your ex’s. Didn’t you break up the same day we met? Did you see anyone after me? I think that’s a fair God damned question.”

  “Michael and I broke up the same day, but we hadn’t had sex together for a couple of weeks. I’ve had my period since then. There’s been no one else.”

  “B–but…” My gaze fell on the used condom on the floor, “but we used protection. Every time. Didn’t we?” I thought back to every erotic encounter we had shared those two blissful days. This was a nightmare. Instead of basking in an afterglow with her, I’d had a pretty effective bucket of freezing cold water dumped over me.

  “I thought so, too. Looking back, though, there was that time in your gym…”

  God damn it. She was right. I remembered it clearly now that she brought it up: the arguing, the banter that led to me falling. I remembered it all, every moment of that tryst playing back through my mind. I hadn’t even had pockets. There was no way I’d had a condom. How could I have been so stupid?

  “I’m sorry, Xander,” she whispered.

  I couldn’t breathe. The walls closed in on me. I looked down at Lily, every muscle tense, disgust driving my emotions. Disgust at myself… and at her. “How long, Lily?”

  “What?”

  “How long have you been keeping this from me?”

  She flushed. “Three weeks.”

  Three fucking weeks. Between moving in with me and that first weekend, we’d only spent nine days together. She’d known longer than that. I had to get out of here. I had to leave before I said something I’d really regret. I was so furious, yet somehow knew that wouldn’t help matters. Something in my brain switched off, checking out. The feelings numbed, the fury abated. I knew
they were still there, but my mind repressed them.

  “Xander, I–”

  I walked back to her and pulled her to her feet. I kissed her, lightly brushing my lips over hers. She didn’t react. She didn’t melt into me as she had before. I felt… nothing. I released her.

  “It’ll be okay, Lily. I promise. I… I need to go. I have to think. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

  “You’re leaving?” She looked horrified.

  I swallowed. “I have to… for now. I need to get out of here, I need air. Just… I gotta go.”

  She didn’t move, didn’t react as I turned my back on her and headed for the stairs and out of my own home.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Next up on rings is Alexander Phoenix, USA.”

  I lifted my right arm into the air and paused, then ambled over to the rings, waiting. I covered my hands with chalk and adjusted my ring grips. Sam was ready and waiting. At a nod of my head, he placed his hands on my waist and helped me up. I strengthened my grip, calmed my nerves. Blocked out the judges, the crowds, everything. This was my event. I was ready.

  I extended my arms to either side and held the Iron Cross, every muscle in my body taut. I curled my legs up into a sitting position and rolled over in a slow somersault. Circling around again, I lifted into a handstand, then swung myself around.

  The memory came unbidden to my mind.

  “I’m pregnant, Xander.”

  No.

  Not now. I hadn’t slept at all last night. I had walked to my buddy John’s house and crashed on his couch. I tossed and turned and thought about all my mistakes. Maybe it was her fault; she had been a tabloid reporter. Had she planned to ensnare me? I knew that was wrong, though. She was guilty, yes, but I was just as guilty.

  I completed the second circuit around and spread my arms to drop back into the Iron Cross position, but my right hand slipped.

  Fuck.

  I only had a split second to process what was happening as I crashed to the floor. I tried to catch myself with my left hand, but felt a tearing pain in my shoulder, followed by a worse pain in my back as I landed flat on my tailbone, sitting up.